Letting go of stress is choosing life.
Being an IT project manager is like being the captain of a ship. You have a course, a crew, and you must navigate through storms. I'm talking about the ones that build pressure, the ones that make you feel like everything is about to sink: stress. For years, I endured it and continue to fight it. Unfortunately, I don't have a magic formula to give you, just some food for thought, the result of my life's experience.
The Reality on the Ground: Where Does This Stress Come From?
I remember my first major project. A hurried client, a tight budget, and a team with a high turnover rate. Every day was a race. I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. The stress didn't come from a single source, but from an explosive cocktail:
- Unrealistic deadlines: I was asked to deliver in six months what should have taken nine. I was so obsessed with the schedule that I no longer saw the warning signs.
- "Artistic vagueness": The client knew what they didn't want but had trouble expressing what they truly wanted. This uncertainty drove me crazy; I never knew if we were heading in the right direction.
- Tensions with a key user: These were due to their resistance to change, and the tension spread throughout the team. Instead of understanding and anticipating, I let the situation escalate, creating unnecessary friction.
- Tensions with a key user: These were due to their resistance to change, and the tension spread throughout the team. Instead of understanding and anticipating, I let the situation escalate, creating unnecessary friction.
All of this was my vision of the project. I was too focused on the final result and not enough on the process and the people. I understood that stress wouldn't disappear, but I could change my way of dealing with it.
Surgery and Stress Management: An Unexpected Parallel
At one point in my career, I asked myself a question: how does a surgeon manage to stay calm during an operation when a life is in their hands? I sought to understand the reasons for this apparent tranquility. It's not a superpower or indifference, but a rigorous process and self-control.
Surgeons face enormous pressure. They can't afford to panic. This is thanks to a combination of factors:
- Training: Years of training and practice in the operating room have made every gesture an automatic reflex. Repetition and experience significantly reduce uncertainty and fear of the unknown. In project management, it's the same thing. Only experience and the quantity of projects managed allow you to train yourself. Each project is a new opportunity to test your skills, learn from your mistakes, and develop reflexes.
- The process: They follow clear, well established procedures. Every step is meticulously prepared. In case of an unexpected event, a precise protocol is triggered. There is no room for improvisation or emotion. In our profession, we must rely on the project management processes established by the company and even perfect them. Well established rituals, such as daily meetings (stand up meetings) or sprint reviews, provide structure and reduce the feeling of chaos.
- Focus: A surgeon concentrates on one thing at a time. They are absorbed by their task and leave distractions aside. The single, clear objective reduces mental load. For the project manager, this means focusing on tasks, one by one, without being overwhelmed by the project's overall vision. Breaking down the work into small, achievable steps helps you stay focused on the present and avoid feeling crushed by the magnitude of the task.
This parallel opened my eyes. If a surgeon can block out pressure by focusing on what they can control, why can't a project manager?
Stress: A State We Inflict on Ourselves
Throughout my career, I realized something fundamental: stress is often a perception. It doesn't come from the outside; it comes from how we interpret events. In other words, it's not the project that's stressful, it's our reaction to uncertainty and difficulties.
I remember a situation where a critical bug appeared just before a product launch. The first time it happened, I panicked. My heart started racing, my hands were sweaty, and I began to imagine the catastrophe: an angry client, a failed project, a personal failure. It was at that moment that I realized I was creating this stress myself by projecting myself into the worst possible scenario.
I learned to take a step back. In those moments, I ask myself two simple questions:
- What can I control? I can't make the bug disappear with a magic wand, but I can implement an action plan to fix it.
- What's the worst thing that could really happen? The answer is almost always less dramatic than we imagine. A bug can be fixed. A deadline can be negotiated.
By objectifying the situation, you realize that mountains are just hills. You stop enduring and start acting. This change in perspective has been my greatest ally in managing stress.
My Anti-Stress Solutions
After hitting rock bottom, I began to implement new habits to move forward.
Plan, but Without Being Rigid
I've learned to breathe. Today, I no longer rush headlong into a project. I use the agile methodology to break down the work into short sprints. Instead of seeing Everest, I focus on the next hill to climb. The victory of each small sprint is a breath of fresh air. It's like running a marathon: you don't think about the finish line; you focus on the next 500 meters.
Delegation, My New Religion
I have a tendency to do everything myself—it's a way to control deliverables, but it costs a lot in terms of time, workload, and energy. I am still learning to trust and empower team members so they can bring something personal to the project. I more easily accept points of view different from my own, as long as they are well-reasoned and constructive for the project's progress. I have understood that my role is not to be a "superhero," but a facilitator.
Say No, Without Remorse
My grandfather always used to say, "The one who embraces too much, holds poorly." It took me a long time to understand the meaning of that phrase. I used to accept all client requests, even the most outlandish ones. Today, I calmly respond: "That's an excellent idea, but it's not within the project's scope. We can add it to a future version or evaluate the impact on the schedule." By setting boundaries, I gained credibility and saved myself a lot of trouble.
Find a Way to Decompress
I knew someone who, to toughen himself up, sought out stressful situations outside of work, like extreme sports. He thought that getting used to adrenaline would make him more effective at the office. But that's not the solution. The brain is a muscle that can't be strained continuously. This approach worked for a while, but it's a direct accelerator toward burnout. It's vital to find an activity to clear your mind. For me, cooking has always held a special place. Preparing a complex dish forces me to focus on something else, to be in the present moment. Lately, gardening has been a great help. It's a way to reconnect with the concrete, far from lines of code and dashboards. Whatever you choose, the important thing is to grant yourself that time, to disconnect to better reconnect.
Stress Is Not the Enemy
Stress is an alert, a signal that something is wrong. It's a bit like the red light on a car's dashboard. You shouldn't ignore it; on the contrary, you should listen to it. By changing my perception of stress, I have transformed a source of suffering into a driver of performance. Today, I know I can face any storm because I've learned how to navigate. And that is priceless.